The un-saintly Saint

There must be mischief in the air this week. Or at least that is how I want to explain away the Saint’s slightly un-saintly behavior this week.

Need I remind you that this is a man whose time spent not driving is mostly spent in religious pursuits. This is also a man who when I first engaged him as my daily driver over seven months ago was the calmest, quietest and most respectful man who I think I have ever met. Oh how seven months of exposure changes a person.

During our seven months of friendship I have come to realize that Saint Buche is slightly impatient when it comes to traffic that is the direct result of bad drivers and their behavior. I have also discovered that he has a stubborn streak to rival mine…which is truly saying a lot. I actually didn’t think that it was possible to find anyone who was more doggedly determined and stubborn than me.

This week on two separate occasions the Saint and I engaged in a battle of wills and stubbornness that is truly laughable. While I can concede that my own personal Saint is quite determined to take care of me….something that I rarely allow anyone to do….he also takes significant pride in out doing my other protector, Lawrence. During the past couple of months, the Saint has been very cocky in deed in his belief that he reigns supreme as the #1 male figure in my life here in Gaborone. Admittedly, I have certainly fostered this friendly rivalry between these two formerly (before Miss Cheryl descended on Africa) quiet and very well behaved gentlemen.

I will also admit that anyone who saves an innocent animal like a kitten and gives it a loving home will always score high with me. And then there was the whole shampoo incident in Ghanzi which Lawrence will never live down. However, I can honestly say that as far as I am concerned these two men are absolutely on an equal par in my affections, kittens and shampoo aside 😉

As they both have done so much for me I genuinely attempt to return the favor when ever I can. In the Saint’s case, I am determined to help him grow his business and get more clients. I have become the go to person in Gaborone when ever anyone is looking for a taxi or personal driver. And if the Saint is not available, I have a list of at least five other drivers who can accommodate pick ups and drop off almost anytime day or night.

So, you might ask, how does this factor in to the Saint’s un-saintly behavior. Well, it seems that this particular Saint now feels like he is secure enough in our friendship to engage in battles of will with me. An act that few mortals like to engage in as I have been affectionately referred to by friends as the “Warrior Queen”. No one could ever call me faint hearted.

Ah, but a Saint is a different story. Twice this week, Mr Saint stood toe for toe with me and I have to admit that the first battle he won. No, I am not going to tell you what it was specifically about but let’s just say that it had to do with refusing to accept something. And, Mr. Saint proved that he could dig his heels in deeper than even I could ever imagine. No threats, cajoling or pouting could alter the outcome.

But the second incidence of the week brought a far better result for me. No doubt Mr. Saint was riding on the high of his victory earlier in the week so cockiness reigned. Ah, but this time I was strategically prepared not to lose another fight. Remember, I studied warfare and nuclear strategy many years ago as part of my Masters in International Relations. I am capable of both preemptive and first strike capabilities when deemed necessary.

What method did I employ to conquer the Saint? Well, because he is a Saint and reasonably well mannered when not teasing me, I threatened him with tactics that I have employed to great effect on Lawrence. It seems that the threat of kicking and punching in public made by someone who had already proven capable of employing such tactics was enough to bring concessions from the Saint. Ha! The sweet thrill of victory and triumph over the Saint.

Victory appears to be short lived, however, as yesterday the so-called Saint displayed typically unconventional behavior while transporting my friend Sheila and I. He spent the entire trip ordering me around and unmercifully teasing Sheila and I. This is behavior that he always reserves just for me and never displays in front of other clients. Oh how far the might can fall.

I will leave you all with the following quote from Sheila: “Wow, I can remember the first time I met Buche in January. He was so quiet and mild mannered. Is he ever different now!”

Let this be a lesson – even Saints can fall when they are exposed long enough to bad influences 🙂




I am pure Evil

If Buche doesn’t lock me out of the car this time, he is truly a Saint!

Obviously, I was in a mood today…given that I physically fought with Lawrence in the middle of the Spar grocery store just because he wanted to be a gentleman and carry my very heavy basket. My friend Linda emailed me to ask if there was video as she would have loved to seen Lawrence actually best me…he was still crowing at the office when I was leaving.

Perhaps that is what ramped me up to so unmercifully torment Buche on the drive home. The first few minutes were okay as I related how I had tried to beat up Lawrence in the Spar at the BBS mall. Buche was very amused but in his dry way asked why I simply didn’t just let Lawrence carry the basket for me….man is he sorry that he made that statement now!

As we were nearing our first set of traffic lights (robots as they are called here) there was a police woman in the middle of the intersection directing traffic. It is unusual for a traffic cop to still be at the particular intersection that late in the day. And this traffic officer is one that we know well. She was regularly at one particular traffic circle that we move through each morning. It is a regular joke between us as we try to guess if she is in good humour each morning or not. I might add that she appears to be in bad humour more often than not.

I have also started to joke that when she is in good humour it is because she has a boyfriend. We have even seen her talking on a cell phone a few times smiling and appearing rather in love. Then after the festive season she was no longer at this particular junction during our travels back and forth. I would tease Buche that she must have gotten married and moved. Although he was quick to point out a couple  weeks later that he had encountered her at a different intersection just down from where I work. So we joked that the honeymoon was over. She was back to work.

What you also need to know is that Buche is not great at actually stopping at stop signs except Tlokweng 🙂 This morning we even had a discussion about that and he told me that the only time he ever fully stops at a stop sign is when he is in Tlokweng or South Africa. He also has a real knack of getting stopped at every intersection or traffic circle that is controlled by a traffic cop which really makes him grumble and me laugh.

With all that you will now understand why are I am so evil.

As we approached the intersection all of the cars ahead of us proceeded through but it was like as soon as she (the traffic cop) saw our particular car, up went her arm and we were ground to a halt. Buche grumbled, I crackled! He complained that he just didn’t understand why he was always halted. So evil Cheryl told him why…..

I told him that she was secretly attracted to him and just wanted to have him close. The more he tried to denied that could even be possible, the thicker I laid it on. I even told him that his wife better watch out or she was going to lose him to Ms. Traffic Cop! When he claimed that wasn’t possible, Evil Miss Cheryl promptly reminded him that his phone number was proudly displayed on his back window so he better be expecting a phone call 😉

I then continued the tormenting by telling him that in the morning, I was going to toss a love note out of his window when we were stopped for her to find….see, I told that I am truly evil.

How much do you want to bet that we take a different route to my office tomorrow morning! or the windows in the car won’t go down!